Hopes and Fears
by Merlana
Summary: Hermione is stuck alone at Grimmauld Place with none other than our dear Remus Lupin. Both have lost and neither have been able to grieve... HGRL


Grimmauld Place, it always looked so dingy. Hermione couldn't help but shiver as she walked to the door and stepped inside. It had been ages since she'd been here, and on a social call no less. Someone had to see that Lupin was getting fed and looked after. He'd given up on life as everyone else knew it when Sirius had died, and Hermione had been elected as his caretaker from then on. Now, Hermione had always harbored a sort of affection for the wolf, but she'd never acted upon it.

Last year, Hermione's job as a healer for St. Mungo's had taken her away from Lupin and Cho had been her replacement. Cho had lasted four days, and since then, the Order had gone through just about everyone in hopes they could find someone other than Hermione who could make Lupin eat and look after himself. Apparently, the man didn't trust anyone other than her. She sighed and dropped her bags on the dirty carpeting. The first thing she did after seeing to Lupin was going to be cleaning. Hermione sniffed the air, it smelled, surprisingly, of baking bread. She heard a faint humming coming from the direction of the kitchen and followed her nose and ears until she caught a glimpse of a sight she was sure would stick in her mind forever.

Lupin's hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and he was covered from head to toe in white flour. He hummed and whistled as he mixed and kneaded dough, not noticing the new presence in the kitchen. Hermione stifled a gasp and crept into the kitchen, being careful to avoid the floorboard that squeaked. Lupin turned around as she went to sit at the kitchen table and nearly dropped the bowl of batter. He would have had Hermione's reflexes not been as tuned as they were. Deftly, she caught the bowl with a spell and hovered it to the counter.

"Hello Remus," she said softly, smiling at the werewolf. "What're you making?"

"Oh nothing..bit of bread…" he answered absently, before dusting a bit of flour off his face with a flour cove and succeeding only in covering himself in more flour. Hermione couldn't help but giggle then, seeing her stoic Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher covered in flour and wearing an apron that could only have come from Molly Weasley's closet.

"It sure smells good," Hermione acknowledged, gesturing toward the oven. Lupin brightened considerably.

"You think so?" he asked, "This is the fourth batch…and I…oh damn!" he swore and raced to the oven, just in time to see black smoke pouring out of it. Lupin growled and let out a string of curses that would have made Mad-Eye Moony wince, but Hermione just howled with laughter. Tears in her eyes, she groped for a chair and flopped down into it. "I don't find this funny at all Miss Granger," Remus admonished, but there was a twinkle of mirth in his eyes as well.

"Don't you have a timing spell?" Hermione asked, after sobering. Remus shook his head, and Hermione raised an eyebrow, "why not? How do you expect to keep the bread from burning if you don't have a timer?" she asked. Lupin shrugged and went back to mixing his batter. Hermione shook her head and took her leave, resolving to teach him the timing spell she used.

She wandered up the stairs to her usual room, got herself unpacked and considered that she might actually enjoy spending time here. She used to hate it, Lupin was always moping around and feeling extra sorry for himself, but now she knew how he felt. Ron had been killed a few months back and Hermione still couldn't think about him without tears forming.

"Stupid reckless boy!" she snapped at no one, before collapsing onto the well-made bed. She couldn't believe Ron had dared take on Bellatrix alone, he never even had a chance. She just Avada'd him without even blinking. Hermione took a shuddering breath, curled up on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

While she slept, Lupin whipped up another batch of bread, this time managing to get it out of the oven before it burned and was cleaning up when a scream sounded from the upper levels of the house. He knew that scream, and rushed up the stairs as fast as he could move and found Hermione in the throes of a nightmare.

Summoning up his courage and strengthening his resolve, Lupin stepped into the room. Hermione was crying out and twitching like she was being murdered and Lupin looked around, panic-stricken. What in Merlin's name was he supposed to do? It hit him then, he remembered what Kingsley had said about how Ron had died. Immediately, the old heavy sorrow fell on him and Lupin sat down on the edge of Hermione's bed, resting a hand on her back, absently rubbing it in circles.

Tears formed in Lupin's eyes as he remembered all the other's who had died in the last few years and thought about the many more who would die if this war continued. Suddenly, Hermione shot awake, her eyes wide and terrified.


End file.
